Do's, Don'ts, and Dealing with Cultural Differences
- When you first meet an Italian, greet them and shake hands. The greeting of buongiorno is always polite, but note that it turns into buona sera after lunch. Ciao is also acceptable if they're close to your age or younger. (But times are changing, and addressing your elders with ciao is often no longer a grave faux pas).
- If you pass by someone you've met before in the hallways or a public space, be sure to smile and greet them, since shyness is sometimes interpreted as rudeness.
- Address shopkeepers politely: it's customary here for a shopkeeper or pharmacist to greet you when you enter the store, and you should return in kind.
- The phrase arrivederci is the polite way to bid your Italian friends goodbye.
- If you are invited to someone's house for dinner, bring along a small gift. A box of chocolates or pastries are safe choices. The day after, send them a thank you.
While the list of rules above may seem like too much to remember, most Italians are forgiving and hospitable toward foreigners who genuinely attempt to be kind and polite. If you smile and remember to say grazie, you will generally be received well.
If you're interested in learning a little more about Italian customs, especially if you would like to speak some Italian, check out this Social Customs in Italy article from Just Landed.
Clothing
Italians tend to be much more modest than Americans, and favor loose-fitting clothes with full coverage. You won't find locals showing much skin, because that's just not how it's done in Italy. If you do wear something with a little less coverage, don't be surprised if you attract questioning looks from Italians.
Of course, this doesn't mean you can't look nice! As the capital of fashion, Italy is the perfect place to wear your more daring looks. When packing for your trip, go ahead and bring a full-length sequin dress for a night out, or that flowy striped jumpsuit for a stroll around town. Just leave the bikini tops for the beach. You're likely to see Italians walking around in flowy but well-fitted clothes, in a mix of bold patterns and classic neutrals, so why not follow suit?
Churches, places of worship, and museums have a more specific dress code: no uncovered shoulders, and all dresses and shorts should fall beyond the knees. If you plan to visit any of the historic churches in Italy (and you should!), bring a modest dress, long pants, or pack a shawl/scarf for your shoulders. Rules apply to both men and women.
Tipping
You'll be pleased to learn that tipping is much simpler in Italy than in the United States. Servers in Italy are paid well enough that tips are not required, but of course it is certainly an option to tip for a job well done. A few euros is sufficient.
Food & Drink
Italians eat on a slightly different schedule than Americans, which can be a surprise if it's your first time in Europe.
Breakfast in Italy is often some type of coffee paired with a sweet pastry. You order them at a "bar," which is the equivalent of a cafè in America. While some places offer seating, others might not. Many Italians will drink their coffee in one go, pay, and leave. If you want to sit, feel free to do so but just keep in mind that it might cost a bit more to do so.
- If you want to order in Italian, practice asking for what you want with these phrases :
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- "Posso avere..." (Can I have...?)
- "Vorrei..." (I would like...)
- The heart wants what it wants and sometimes what it wants is a cappuccino after breakfast! Order as you wish but don't be surprised if you get strange looks from the bartender. It's not typical for Italians to order milky coffees in the afternoon.
- On the note of milky coffees - or milk for that matter, do NOT ask for a "latte" unless you want a cup of milk with no coffee in it! Instead, ask for a "caffe latte".
- Lunch is typically a bit later, around 1 or 2pm, and is the largest meal of the day. Dinner is quite late by American standards, usually around 10pm.
- When eating out, many Italians will have an "aperitivo." An aperitivo is an early evening alcoholic drink paired with small snacks such as peanuts or chips that is generally consumed an hour or two before dinner with other people.
Restaurants work differently as well, all centered around an immersive dining experience. Once you've finished your food, it's tradition to talk for a while, and since waiters don't want to rush you, they won't approach you with the check - flag them down to ask.
Drinking Alcohol
Drinking culture in Italy is much different than the US, and this is where many American visitors run into issues. Since good wine available at every supermarket, Italians naturally enjoy drinking and do it often. A good example of this is the aperitivo, the traditional light drink that whets the appetite before dinner. Italians take an "everything in moderation" approach to drinking, and a drink with a meal is commonplace.
Keep in mind that you are in a foreign country. A place where you do not understand the language or the culture naturally requires more caution. When you have been drinking to excess, your judgement is inhibited, dramatically increasing your risk of being targeted by unsavory characters. Additionally, Italians tend to view publicly-inebriated Americans unfavorably and will respond to you with caution. If you are very drunk in public, you will have more difficulty finding help. They aren't trying to be rude, they're simply keeping themselves safe.
Language
You will likely find that during your time in Rome, most Italians will speak enough English to do business with you. But if you travel outside of Rome, you may find yourself in an area where speaking Italian is your best option. And of course, it's always welcome to try to speak a little Italian. Here are some phrases you'll find useful in Italy:
- Buongiorno (bwon-jor-no) — Good morning
- Buonasera (bwo-na-se-ra) — Good afternoon
- Arrivederci (a-ri-ve-der-chi) — Goodbye
- Grazie (gra-zee-ay) — Thank you
- Per favore (per fa-vo-re) — Please
- Prego (prey-go) — You're welcome
- Prego may also mean "Next" when said by a ticket station attendant, "Go ahead/after you" after bumping into someone, or "Follow me" when said by a hostess. It's a versatile word!
- Uscita (oo-she-ta) — exit
- Entrata (en-tra-ta) — entrance
- Aiuto (ai-oo-to) — help
- Ho bisogno di [un dottore/la polizia] — I need a doctor/the police
- Parla inglese? — Do you speak English?
- Vorrei [la bistecca] — I would like [the steak] (used for ordering)
- Sono allergico a [arachidi (a-ra-ki-di) / pesce (peh-shay) / glutine] — I am allergic to [peanuts/fish/gluten]
- Dov'è [la stazione/l'aeroporto/il bagno] — Where is [the train station/the airport/the bathroom]
For more phrases, check out this list of 101 phrases from Untold Italy.